It is difficult to believe that we have been back in the states for over a year. In many ways it actually feels much longer...Dominica is a distant memory. While I am grateful to live in America and appreciate all of the freedoms and conveniences we enjoy; I must admit I do miss this view....
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| View from our front door in Dominica |
I'm quite certain I will never have a more spectacular view. I loved watching sunsets with Scott from our front porch and trying to count the stars at night. I did not understand the beauty in God's creation until I moved to Dominica. Lately Scott and I have had the opportunity to talk about life in Dominica with friends here in Dallas. It is difficult to put the experience into words. The time on that tiny island was a gift that I will cherish always.
Since leaving Dominica life has been interesting. A year ago I would have never guessed we would be living in Dallas right now. It has been wonderful to be back! I have enjoyed catching up with friends and being involved in their lives. I have attended several birthday parties and we've had many dinners with friends. Right now Scott is studying away for Step 1 which is scheduled for June 12. I am breathing easier at work now that the tax deadlines have passed and finding more time to bake...which is not necessarily good for the waistline :-).
While spending time with friends the question I get asked most often is "What's next?" A question I can't really answer. Scott's test is June 12 and it will take 3 or 4 weeks to get the score. Once he gets his score Ross will schedule his rotations and he will start within a couple of months. Our lease is up at the end of July so we have no idea where we will live come August 1. I am learning to accept uncertainty. I know God is using this time to teach me to trust. Lately I find myself becoming increasingly anxious but also excited when I think about our next step. I am not ready to leave our friends or to look for a new job but I am excited to discover the opportunities ahead.
I am also excited for Scott to complete this phase of medical school and to get into the hospital. For the past year he has been studying for Step 1. He finally made it over the first obstacle and now the goal is right in front of him. We have been studying the Old Testament with our church and I now have a new understanding of the 40 years the Israelites spent in the wilderness. The promised land was so close yet just out of reach. For a year now we have lived as if Scott would take Step 1 in 4 months. Each time he failed to pass the COMP we went back to square one and looked ahead to the next 4 months. The goal was so close yet so far away. I am constantly amazed by my husband's perseverance and strength. He continues to study 10 hours a day to prepare for this monster of a test. His faith in God and focus are inspiring. He has taught me what it means to press forward and work hard to accomplish a goal. Giving up never crossed his mind. I am so proud of him.
Back to the Israelites...I wonder how they felt at the end of each day. Did they question God's provision and wonder if there would be manna the next day? How many times did they want to give up and go back to Egypt? What kept them going? This journey has taught me the importance of living for today and letting God worry about tomorrow. Each day I have to choose to let God be in control. I can't stay sane unless I stop trying to do things myself. So for now we are in Dallas. I am working at a job God provided and for which I am grateful. I am spending as much time as possible with friends while I can. I have no idea what is next for us but I know God does and that is all I need to know.
