An Aldrich Christmas

For the first time in our married life Scott and I spent a quiet Christmas at home...and we loved every minute of it.  Scott was originally scheduled to work Christmas Day but at the last minute received an unexpected 3 day weekend.  I think that may have been the best gift we received this year.

On Christmas Eve morning we lounged around, ate homemade cinnamon rolls and watched ELF. That evening we went to church and then had the Quarles family (Ryan, Sarah, Paul and Frazier) over for dinner.

Christmas morning we slept in and then got up and opened presents before heading over to Ryan and Sarah's for breakfast.  Dora and I spent the rest of the day napping on the couch while Scott was on the phone with family.  That evening we had dinner with friends.  It was a relaxing holiday but went by too quickly.

Joy to the World

“Joy to the world! The Lord is come: let earth receive her King! Let every heart prepare him room and heaven and nature sing.” – Joy to the World

I heard this song on the way to work this morning and it was such a great reminder of why we celebrate Christmas.  I pray that in these final days leading up to Christmas I will focus on preparing my heart for Christ's birth.  It can be disheartening to see the how the sinful nature of this world becomes more apparent during the holiday season.  The desire for "stuff" leads people to steal mail from mailboxes and packages from doorsteps.  It can also lead some to have their young children shoplift from a department store.  Hearing these stories and so many others can lead a person to lose all faith in humanity.  Yet it was for these reasons that Christ was born.

He did not come to this Earth for the blameless...he came into this fallen world to save those already dead from sin.  The message of His birth is as exciting and relevant today as it was to the shepherds many many years ago.  We have hope today because Christ was born and one day will come back.  We can experience joy because of his great love for us.  Believing in Christ frees us from the shackles of our sin.  We do not have to conform to this world.

My prayer this holiday season is that you will take the time to acknowledge the miracle of Christ's birth and delight in the joy that it brings.  And don't forget to share this joy with those around you.  And if you are wondering how to share that joy...well to quote one of my favorite Christmas movies…“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” – Elf

Merry Christmas!

Love,

Scott, Whitney and Dora

Getting Settled

Moving every few months has some advantages.   You get to see new parts of the world.  You get experience new foods, new weather patterns, and easily satisfy your inner tourist.  As an added bonus you accumulate less clutter because you realize you may have to pack it all up in a few months.  For the passed 2 years Scott and I have been on the move.  Each move has been different...different challenges, different climates, and different adventures.

We chose Baltimore for many reasons and we were thrilled when it actually worked out for us to move here.  We have friends and family close by and there is nothing like having built in community.  For all of these reasons the "settling in" process has been somewhat easy.  We found an apartment and moved in within a few days of arriving.  We furnished the apartment within a couple of weeks (thanks to hand-me-downs from friends, Craigslist, and Goodwill).  I even found a job in record time.  Now that we have "settled in" it is time to begin the process of getting settled.

Now you may be asking yourself "what's the difference?"  Honestly until this move I thought the two phrases held identical meanings, but in the last week I have begun to see a distinction.  A definition I found on the World Wide Web describes to settle in as "to begin to feel comfortable in a new place" or "to become accustomed to one's new surroundings."  For me this means setting up our home, our refuge...a place where we want to go to rest and relax at the end of a long day.  It also means finding the best grocery store, figuring out where to buy dog food, driving around without the Garmin (at least for the most part), finding a new physician, finding a dry cleaner's and figuring out a few running routes.  At this point I can say with certainty that we've settled in.  

Now comes the next phase...actually getting settled.  It occurred to me this weekend that I have been in limbo somewhat dreading this next step.  To me getting settled means establishing routines, starting work, meeting new people, investing in the community, choosing a church...truly living life here.  All of these things are good but they also take courage and time.  For Scott this step began weeks ago when he started his IM rotation.  He was forced into a routine shortly after arrival and his days are accounted for.  For me it has been a little different.  I have been getting the house in order, cooking, cleaning and running errands in an effort to make life as easy as possible once I start work.  My vacation is coming to an end and it is time to start getting settled.  

Next Monday I begin my new job with some anxiety.  It is always tough being the new kid...not knowing where the copier is or how to work the fax machine, not having anyone to sit with at lunch, and not understanding what is expected of me.  For the first time in a while we aren't moving in 6 months.  We could actually be here for years; which is quite comforting...but it's also somewhat scary.  I have to give Maryland a chance; I can't just fake it until we move again.  I have to be intentional with the people around me and get to know this new city.  I'm not just biding time here; I'm living here.  

I don't know why this hit me all of a sudden or why it has me slightly freaked out.  So far I love it here and it seems to be a good fit for all of us.  I am looking forward to building a life here; creating new traditions, seeing new sights, and building new relationships.  I'm ready to feel settled but I know it takes time.  I guess I am afraid (there's that word again) that by the time I actually feel settled it will be time to move again.  I don't know what the future holds but I know I have to live each day to the fullest without fear of what is to come.  I am excited to begin this new phase and grateful I don't have to face it alone.

Fear

I'm not sure where to start this post.  I am filled with many emotions...excitement, fear, joy, anxiety, and thanksgiving (not the holiday).  This week has been challenging in many ways but also filled with blessing.

Allow me to backtrack for a moment.  Earlier this year a dear friend went to the dermatologist to get a couple of moles checked.  The result was early stage melanoma.  The moles were quickly removed along with all traces of the dreaded M word.  This prompted Scott to visit the dermatologist while we lived in Dallas.  He had 2 moles biopsied and 1 was pre-cancerous.  That mole was removed and now he has nothing to worry about.  I knew I needed to get checked out also but I was afraid and so I waited.  Before we left Miami to move up North I went to see a dermatologist (with some gentle nudging from my husband).  She asked if there were any concerns and I noted a mole on my back that doctor's have been monitoring for years.  She agreed that it was larger than she would like but wanted to check again in 6 months.  I informed her we were moving in 2 weeks...so we made the decision to play it safe and biopsy the mole.  I assumed by her willingness to wait that the biopsy would come back clear.

I was wrong.  Two days before we began our trek northward I received a call from the doctor's office.  The mole was abnormal and additional tissue needed to be removed.  This was not what I was expecting to hear.  I was anxious and afraid.  After several doctor's appointments I had the mole removed 2 days ago.  I was nervous and scared but now I am so grateful it is over.  Fear is such a strange emotion.  It focuses on the future, what might or might not happen.  It plays tricks on your mind.  After all was said and done I realized I was afraid of the unknown.  I've never had surgery before (except for having teeth pulled and a root canal), I've never broken a bone or had a bad cut.  The only time in my life I had stitches was when I was too young to remember.  I wasn't sure what to expect.  I was afraid it would hurt, afraid I would bleed to much, afraid the stitches would be uncomfortable, afraid of having a big ugly scar on my back, etc, etc.  

Now that it is over I can say some of the fears were valid.  The stitches are uncomfortable and in a very awkward location on my back.  I can't sleep on my back and my range of motion is limited.  But I cannot deny that I am so fortunate.  By God's grace the abnormal tissue was caught early.  I don't have to worry about that ugly mole turning into skin cancer.  I don't have to go through chemo.  I just have to live with stitches for a couple of weeks...no big deal.  I am grateful that the procedure went well, that I can rest and recuperate before I start working.  I am grateful that I have a loving husband that gets things I will need throughout the day off of the high shelf that I can't reach and leaves them on the counter for me.  I feel like a theme of this year has been facing my fears and and conquering them with God's strength.

I will leave you with a public service announcement.  Check your moles.  Here are some things to look for.

• Asymmetry: one half of the mole or birthmark doesn't match the other.
• Border: the edges are irregular, ragged, notched or blurred.
• Color: the color is not the same all over and may include shades of brown or black or sometimes with patches of pink, red, white, or blue.
• Diameter: the spot is larger than a pencil eraser (6mm or 1/4 inch)

If you have any concerns go see your doctor immediately.  It is also a good idea to go to a dermatologist once a year for a full body check.  

There is my soap box...I will step down now.  My prayer for you and for me is that fear will no longer be an obstacle.  I am tired of hiding and being held captive by fear.  I am grateful that I serve a loving, gracious God that continually presents me with challenges and equips me to conquer them no matter how big or small they seem.

"I can do all this through him who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:13

Maryland Residents

I'm not sure where the time goes but I blinked and suddenly October is coming to an end.  We have been in our new home for almost a month which seems impossible and after a weekend trip to the Motor Vehicle Administration we are officially MD residents.  Relinquishing my Texas driver's license was not easy emotionally.  I guess I will always be a Texan at heart.  So far I am loving our new home and enjoying the glimpses of brilliant Fall colors.

Field behind our apartment where Dora like to play.

I keep asking Scott if Fall is really here.  Most of the trees are still green or look like they're dying.  I've enjoyed the touches of red and yellow but was expecting more colors.  I think it is still early though.

Scott is halfway through week 3 of his rotation.  He seems to be enjoying it..except for the part where the alarm goes off at 4:30 am each day.  I think he is learning a lot even though he hasn't seen a ton of patients so far.  After this week he will be spending more time on the hospital floors.

I have been spending my days driving all over the state (not really but it feels that way) interviewing for jobs.  I was blessed with 2 amazing offers and accepted a position with a mid-size local accounting firm yesterday.  I am blown away by how fast the process went.  I start my new job on November 7.  

We are in week 3 of the Engine 2 challenge (http://engine2diet.com/tools) ...no meat, no dairy, no oils.  I must say it has not been as difficult as expected.  The biggest challenge has been meal preparation; I've spent a lot of time in the kitchen chopping vegetables.  Some of the meals have been delicious...black beans and rice, "meatloaf", pizza.  Others have been terrible...tofu steaks (If anyone out there has ideas for making tofu appetizing please send them my way.)  Overall I have experienced less discomfort after meals (acid reflux, bloating, abdominal pain) and feel full most of the day.  In addition I have lost 4.5 pounds while eating larger portions at each meal than I am used to.  Scott has lost 3 pounds, for the first time in a really long time his blood pressure is normal, and he has plenty of energy to get through the day.

We have a faced a few challenges in the last couple of weeks.  For Scott, he has turned down many yummy meals provided by drug reps at the hospital including sandwiches, cookies and pizza.  For me the biggest challenge is grocery shopping...there are so many delicious looking prepared foods that I have to pass by.  Also it is almost impossible to eat out or even have dinner with friends.  So far the benefits outweigh the costs.  I don't think we will adopt this lifestyle 100% but it has definitely changed the way I look at foods and we will be eating more plant based meals from here on out.

Greetings from Maryland!

Scott completed his first clinical rotation on September 22...6 weeks down, 72 to go!  The next day we packed up the car and headed to Maryland.  We decided to extend the road trip and visit some dear friends along the way.  After stops in Columbus, GA, Decatur, GA and Lynchburg, VA we arrived in the Old Line State (nickname for Maryland...had to look that one up).  

After one exhausting day of apartment hunting we settled on a 2 bedroom apartment in a quiet complex in Columbia, MD...across the parking lot from our friends Ryan and Sarah.  We are surrounded by trees and nature trails.  Dora is in heaven!  There are grassy fields where she can run around and even a family of deer that occasionally wander up to the front door.  I have been overwhelmed by the hospitality shown to us by strangers.  So far we are loving are new home and so thankful it will be home for at least a year!

Scott is back to the grind.  He kicked off his 12 week Internal Medicine Rotation yesterday with his very first 12 hour day in the hospital.  I have a feeling I'm not going to see much of him in the next 12 weeks...but he should learn a lot.  I have begun the job hunt and have a couple of interviews lined up next week.  I'm praying God will open up the right doors.

In other news we have decided to take the E2 28 day challenge.  This link has the info http://engine2diet.com/tools.  Basically for the next 28 days we will NOT be consuming meat, dairy or oils.  Today is day 2 and all I can think about is ice cream...this could be a very long month :-).  I will be sharing more info throughout the next few weeks.

Since we have not taken any pictures of our new home I will leave you with a few from one of our last days in Miami.  Scott woke me up early one morning to watch sunrise on South Beach.  The view was breathtaking.

Dora loved the beach

Another Year Older

...and hopefully a little wiser.  This week I celebrated my 31st year on Earth.  I find it difficult to believe that I am in my 30s...30 used to seem so old but I guess the saying is true, you ARE only as old as you feel.

On my birthday Scott had an easy day at the clinic and was home by lunchtime.  We embraced the unexpected time together and headed to the beach.  After an afternoon basking in the sun we headed to South Beach and enjoyed a delicious dinner at 920 Grill.  It was a perfect low-key celebration.

This week I have spent some time reflecting on my 30th year and would like to share a few of the highlights...

• I trained for and completed my first half marathon.  Prior to turning 30 I had never run more than 3.2 miles.
• I visited the west coast for the first time.
• I took a shot at water skiing.
• I lived at 3 different addresses in 2 states (interesting note - the apartments got progressively smaller as the year went on).
• I lived on the beach (well at least walking distance from it).
• I experienced miraculous emotional and spiritual healing.

In high school I would have told you 31 was ancient but as I get older I realize life just keeps getting better (to be clear better does not equal easier).  I guess I have begun to realize what is truly important in life and am learning to cling to those things rather than getting caught up in the drama of the world.  I am not perfect, I have limits and I make mistakes.  I am grateful for my imperfection because it allows me to see and appreciate God's grace and mercy.  Life is a journey; it is about trying new things, exploring new places, and enjoying the process.  I have lived so much of my life in fear...afraid of failing, afraid of not fitting in, and afraid of being me.  I refuse to live in fear any longer.  I am embracing my 31st year with an adventurous spirit determined to enjoy the journey.

The Everglades

An hour west of Miami Beach lies an area of the state known as the Everglades.  It is basically a large area of swampy wetlands.  This weekend Scott and I decided to invite some friends to explore this area with us.  The 5 of us took a private 1 hour airboat tour of the wetlands in search of alligators.  The sun was blazing when we began our adventure; however by the end we had to race the rain back to our car.  

For once we remembered our camera and Scott took some amazing pictures.  I will let the pictures tell the story.

The crew

Scott (sporting the wind blown look) and me after the ride.

Justin - Scott's classmate and friend

Rathan and Camille - fellow Rossies

The scenery

I love how the clouds are reflected in the water.

Big white, fluffy, clouds - they looked fake

The rain clouds began to roll in

The wildlife

Our first alligator sighting

And here he is swimming away

Alligator nest

Great Blue Heron - largest bird found in the area

The trip was fun and informative.  I learned that alligators live 65 years and continue growing their entire lives.  Adult male alligators usually measure 8-12 feet long.  The largest alligator in the Everglades lives in the National park and is close to 20 feet long.  Unlike crocodiles, alligators have a wider, shorter, u-shaped head.

I enjoyed getting out of the city for a few hours and seeing a different side of God's creation.

Finding Rest

"What is all our running around is only our trying to run away from God - the great I AM, present in the present moment?  What if I woke to now and refused to hurry because I didn't want to refuse God?


- Ann Voskamp

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook recently and I have not been able to stop thinking about it.  This is something I struggle with and I know I am not alone.  I feel like I am constantly busy; or if I'm not busy I feel guilty because there is always stuff to do and I should be busy.  I don't know if it is just human nature or the state of humanity today.  It appears the technology intended to make our lives simpler has served to make us busier.  Now that each task is made easier we are able to do more tasks in a day.  It is a vicious cycle.

When I first arrived in Dominica I had a difficult time slowing down.  I wasn't sure what to do with all of my free time...it had been a long time since I had free time.  I was frustrated that simple tasks like washing dishes or grocery shopping took so much longer, yet I still had time to rest and relax because there were fewer tasks to do in a day.  In Dominica life is less demanding.  When it rains people stop under a cluster of trees and wait until the rain dissipates.  When was the last time you saw someone in the US do that?  Did you think they were crazy?  Or maybe even just lazy?  I say they were blessed because in Dominica this is what comes after the rain.

That beautiful, crazy, untamed Caribbean island taught me a lot about the nature of God.  He delights in beauty.  He reveals himself at unexpected moments.  He speaks to us and we can hear Him in the quiet places.  He values rest.  These were traits I could appreciate there...where it was quiet, and beautiful, and unhurried.

Since returning to the US more than a year ago I have struggled with an inner desire to slow down in an outer world that is constantly moving.  I long to break out of the norm and live a simple life.  Is that even possible here?  I know that is what God is calling us to.  He never intended us to be like the Energizer Bunny.  After He created the World...he rested.  After Jesus fed the masses...he rested.  And when we choose to rest He is there, waiting to be with us.


Today I choose not to run from God.  I will leave the dishes in the sink a little longer and answer God's call to linger in his presence.  And tomorrow I will do my best not to get caught up in all of the busyness of life only to end up running from God.  Will you join me?

Happy Anniversary!

August 29, 2009

To my Husband,

Two years ago today I said "I do" to my best friend and we set out on a great adventure.  I never imagined I would love someone as much as I love you or feel as loved as you make me feel every day.  I am so grateful God brought us together.  Even on our worst days I feel blessed to call you my husband.

We have made so many memories together it is hard to pick out my favorites.  I will never forget swimming with sea turtles in Barbados, watching sunsets together on our porch in Dominica, cooking Thanksgiving dinner with you, training Dora together, our trip to San Francisco, foot rubs after a long run, or lazy days spent lounging at home.  I look forward to many decades to come.

Thank you for loving me even on days when I am not very lovable.  Thank you for working so hard in Medical School to provide a future for us.  Thank you for always encouraging me to become the woman God has created me to be.

The road has been not always been easy but I am grateful that I am not traveling alone.  I can't wait to see what adventures lie ahead for us this year.

Love, 

Whitney

Bienvenido a Miami

Miami is home to us once again...for a little while anyway.  Scott, Dora and I arrived at our new place on August 3rd after spending a few days in Baton Rouge with family.  In some ways this was the easiest move to date (#4 in 2 years if you are counting) but it posed a few challenges of it's own.  More on that in another post.  We are renting a furnished condo in Miami Beach so we only brought with us what would fit in the Honda.  So far we have seen more of Miami than we did in our previous 7 month stint.  We have gone to the beach almost every day...it rains a lot during hurricane season.  We visited the Lincoln Road farmers market and we have cruised the streets of South Beach a couple of times to see what all the fuss is about.  And we visit our local dog park daily to keep Miss Dora happy.

Here are some pictures of our new (tiny) home.

The living room/bedroom (note the murphy bed on the wall)

The living room.

The Dining Room

The bathroom (bathtub not pictured)

The kitchen

Please note the lack of counter space

The place is small but it will be sufficient for our time here...and it is 5 minutes from the beach.  Scott begins his 6 week Family Medicine rotation tomorrow.  He is very excited to start seeing patients.  After family medicine we will be moving to Baltimore, MD until at least next August but most likely until he graduates in June 2013.

For the remainder of our time in Miami I will be working part-time, catching up on some reading and spending as much time at the beach as possible.

What's next?

Since returning to Dallas everyone's favorite question has been "What's next?"  This is a question that I have been unable to answer (and that has caused sporadic bouts of anxiety) until today...

On June 26 Scott took the most important exam of his med school career to date (possibly the most important he will take) Step 1.  This was the first of 3 board exams.  We have been anxiously waiting for the scores and today they arrived...he PASSED!!!!  I could not be more proud of my hubby and his determination.  To celebrate we went out for chicken wings.  

Now we begin the last 2 years (approximately) of med school which are the clinical years.  He will spend 78 weeks checking out different specialties like family medicine, pediatrics, surgery, ER, etc.  During these rotations he will get some hands on experience in the hospital setting, practice interviewing patients and also figure out what he wants to specialize in during his residency.  

He will begin his first rotation (Family Medicine) in Miami on August 15th.  It will last 6 weeks.  Yep you read that right...we are headed back to Miami.  This time it will be temporary; a pseudo vacation if you will.  We will spend our free time on the beach and doing all the things we did not get around to the first time in Miami.  I will not be looking for a job in Miami this time because the company I am working for in Dallas has graciously agreed to allow me to work remotely for the remainder of the tax season!

So there you have it...a plan; at least for the immediate future.  Within 10 business days we should have a phone call with the main scheduler to work out the rest of Scott's schedule.  So for now we are trying to sell stuff, pack the rest, hang out with friends and enjoy the last 11 days in Dallas.

We have been praying for these answers for months.  I am in awe that God answered all of our questions in the same day.  Thank you to everyone that has been praying for us.  God is good!

Psalm 38:15 "Lord, I wait for you; you will answer, Lord my God."

The Body of Christ

Growing up I always considered the church to be a building where people went on Sunday mornings.  I took this understanding with me into adulthood.  When I first accepted Christ I didn't fully understand what it meant to be part of the "Body of Christ."  For the past 4 years I have been a member of Northwest Bible Church in Dallas, Texas.  This is where I came to know Christ as my personal savior, where I was baptized and where I met my husband...so it holds a very special place in my heart.  However it was not until I left Dallas that I truly began to understand God's intent for community.

When I moved to Dominica my idea of what "church" should look like changed dramatically.  The first Sunday I was there Scott and I attended Lighthouse; a small house church that several of the students started.  There were 20+ people gathered in a living room singing, sharing a meal and talking about Jesus.  It was not what I was used to.  During the 8 months I lived on that tiny island I struggled with my definition of church.  I loved the people I met at Lighthouse but somehow it never felt right.  I still equated church with a building, organized programs, and structured worship.

When we arrived in Miami I was excited to attend a big church again with a class for newly marrieds and organized community groups...things I felt I had missed out on the previous 8 months.  The first church I visited was Mosaic.  I walked in on a Sunday morning (alone because Scott was in class) hoping to sneak in the back, check it out, and sneak out.  Instead I was greeted warmly at the door and walked in to find 30 or so people sitting on couches and folding chairs...there was no sneaking in.  At first I was disappointed.  I wanted something bigger and more established.  For the next 4 months Scott and I visited church after church.  Some big, some small, all lacking.  I was saddened to see how the truth of the Gospel was skewed by some of the pastors.  We returned to Mosaic where we knew the teaching was accurate and the church members were passionate.  It was at Mosaic that I began to understand that church is not a building, it's not about fancy programs or over produced worship services...it's about believers coming together to worship the one true God, encourage one another and hold each other accountable.  The local "church" is an expression of the global Body of Christ.  It's about believers coming together to live life.

The New Testament makes it very clear that we are not intended to live alone.  We are meant to live in community.  We are to lift each other up, encourage one another, pray for one another, and hold each other accountable for sin.  Living in isolation does not allow God to be glorified.  This week I have been encouraged to see the body come together.  3 weeks ago a college student named Alyssa arrived in Dallas to intern with one of our church's local missionaries.  10 days after she arrived she was hospitalized for what seemed to be dehydration and in less than 48 hours she was in critical condition with many of her organs failing.  Her gallbladder was removed and she was placed on dialysis and put in a medically induced come.  On Thursday she was diagnosed with Wilson's disease, declared infection free and placed at the top of the liver transplant list.  In less than 24 hours 2 donors were found and she received her new liver.  Throughout the week family and friends flew in from Pennsylvania and Tennessee to be with her.  The members of Northwest Bible and other local churches have been present every day...offering places to stay, cars to use, providing meals and snacks, and showing up to sit with the family and pray.  For me it was been a beautiful picture of what is meant by "the Body of Christ."  Believers coming together, giving their time, and resources to love on brothers and sisters in need.  Scott and I were privileged to meet this family today and to see the love they have for this young woman and experience their sincere gratitude.

Alyssa and her boyfriend

I am grateful to be called a daughter of God and to be part of His family.  To be part of something bigger than myself and to see the way His love is poured out by His children.  Alyssa's prognosis is great which is nothing short of a miracle.  Her body responded to the transplant extremely well.  She was awake for a few hours last night and this morning and recognized her family members and responded to questions.  She had to undergo another surgery today to repair an artery.  It is amazing to see how God works...His timing is perfect and His plans are good.  Please join us in praying for Alyssa...for her recovery and rehabilitation in Dallas, for her family to receive help to pay for the medical bills and expense of traveling, and for God to use her story to bring people to His kingdom.  

Summer

It's summer and in Texas that = HOT!  I had almost forgotten what 103 felt like but now I remember...it's REALLY HOT.  So lately weekends have been spent at the pool.  Scott takes his study notes, I take my Kindle, we both put on gobs of sunscreen and we hang out.  It's really the only way to enjoy the miserable heat.  We are fortunate that our apartment complex has a really nice pool and lots of lounge chairs.  We've met some of our neighbors and are less pasty than before.

Other than that we have enjoyed catching up with friends.  Memorial Day weekend Scott's college friend Tom and his wife Julie hosted a crawfish boil at their house complete with snow cone machine and bounce house.  I had never eaten crawfish before...it's yummy but it's a lot of work.  The following weekend we attended a birthday party for our sweet friend Cyndi.  There was a fun lounge band and we got to dance together for the first time since our wedding.  We also attended a send off party for my best friend Erika.  She is spending the next 2 months in Spain serving as a missionary with CAM International.  By the time she gets back we will be gone so it was a bittersweet goodbye.  

Dora helping Scott study.  

Scott is still logging in 10 hour study days with his study buddy Dora.  His test was originally scheduled for tomorrow but we decided to postpone it a couple of weeks.  The big day is now June 26.  He is working so hard and could use prayers for continued focus, strength, and motivation. 

Dora is as cute as ever and keeps us entertained.  She insists on going for a walk every day at 5:00pm...even though it is 98 degrees outside at 5:00pm.  We adjusted her schedule this week because frankly neither of us want to go for a walk at that time of day.  So now she has to wait until after dinner...which if you ask her is torture.  But I think she enjoys the walks a lot more and I know I do.  We recently discovered that she has allergies...mostly likely grass pollen.  For a couple of weeks she had red, itchy, watery eyes.  We took her to the vet thinking it must be an infection but nope just allergies.  We tried giving her Benadryl 3 times a day but then she wasn't awake long enough to eat so we got some drops that cleared it right up.  

That's our update.  Our lease in Dallas is up on July 31st.  Not sure where we are going yet but I'll let you know when I do.  For now we are enjoying the time we have left and trying to see as many friends as possible.

Missing the View

It is difficult to believe that we have been back in the states for over a year.  In many ways it actually feels much longer...Dominica is a distant memory.  While I am grateful to live in America and appreciate all of the freedoms and conveniences we enjoy; I must admit I do miss this view....

View from our front door in Dominica

I'm quite certain I will never have a more spectacular view.  I loved watching sunsets with Scott from our front porch and trying to count the stars at night.  I did not understand the beauty in God's creation until I moved to Dominica.  Lately Scott and I have had the opportunity to talk about life in Dominica with friends here in Dallas.  It is difficult to put the experience into words.  The time on that tiny island was a gift that I will cherish always.

Since leaving Dominica life has been interesting.  A year ago I would have never guessed we would be living in Dallas right now.  It has been wonderful to be back!  I have enjoyed catching up with friends and being involved in their lives.  I have attended several birthday parties and we've had many dinners with friends.  Right now Scott is studying away for Step 1 which is scheduled for June 12.  I am breathing easier at work now that the tax deadlines have passed and finding more time to bake...which is not necessarily good for the waistline :-).

While spending time with friends the question I get asked most often is "What's next?"  A question I can't really answer.  Scott's test is June 12 and it will take 3 or 4 weeks to get the score.  Once he gets his score Ross will schedule his rotations and he will start within a couple of months.  Our lease is up at the end of July so we have no idea where we will live come August 1.  I am learning to accept uncertainty.  I know God is using this time to teach me to trust.  Lately I find myself becoming increasingly anxious but also excited when I think about our next step.  I am not ready to leave our friends or to look for a new job but I am excited to discover the opportunities ahead.

I am also excited for Scott to complete this phase of medical school and to get into the hospital.  For the past year he has been studying for Step 1.  He finally made it over the first obstacle and now the goal is right in front of him.  We have been studying the Old Testament with our church and I now have a new understanding of the 40 years the Israelites spent in the wilderness.  The promised land was so close yet just out of reach.  For a year now we have lived as if Scott would take Step 1 in 4 months.  Each time he failed to pass the COMP we went back to square one and looked ahead to the next 4 months.  The goal was so close yet so far away.  I am constantly amazed by my husband's perseverance and strength.  He continues to study 10 hours a day to prepare for this monster of a test.  His faith in God and focus are inspiring.  He has taught me what it means to press forward and work hard to accomplish a goal.  Giving up never crossed his mind.  I am so proud of him.

Back to the Israelites...I wonder how they felt at the end of each day.  Did they question God's provision and wonder if there would be manna the next day?  How many times did they want to give up and go back to Egypt?  What kept them going?  This journey has taught me the importance of living for today and letting God worry about tomorrow.  Each day I have to choose to let God be in control.  I can't stay sane unless I stop trying to do things myself.  So for now we are in Dallas.  I am working at a job God provided and for which I am grateful.  I am spending as much time as possible with friends while I can.  I have no idea what is next for us but I know God does and that is all I need to know.

Mission Accomplished

Life has been a little crazy for us since moving back to Dallas...hence the lack of blog updates.  Scott spent six weeks in Champaign, IL at a test prep course.  He came home March 11 and left March 13 to take the COMP exam in Miami.  I am happy to report that he PASSED the COMP!  I could not be more proud of my hubby!  I am constantly amazed by his perseverance, courage and constant commitment to God's plan.  We were ecstatic when we received the news and also very relieved.  What this means is that he is now approved to sit for STEP 1 (1st of 3 medical board exams).  For the next 2 months he will continue to study 10 hours a day in preparation for this exam.  He is hoping to take the exam the first week in June.  Once he receives his score Ross will begin scheduling his hospital rotations.  By the end of July we should know where we are headed next.

Before the race

Last Sunday I ran my first half marathon the Rock n Roll Dallas.  I finished in 2:14:22 just under my goal time of 2:15.  Scott ran with me and encouraged me every step of the way.  When we completed the first 3.2 miles I honestly had no idea how I would make it to the finish line.  My chest felt like an elephant was sitting on it.  I kept a slow pace for the first half trying to conserve energy and it worked.  I was able to gain speed from mile 7 to the end.  At mile 9 I felt great...my legs were loose and I was breathing easy.  In fact I felt much better than I did at mile 3; must have been the endorphins.  For the last 4 miles I ran as fast as I could and appreciated the slow beginning pace.  When I crossed the finish line I was completely spent and relieved that it was over.  My whole body ached and I was exhausted but I was also elated because I did it...I accomplished the goal I have spent the last 6 months training for.  Scott cheered me on the whole way and I'm pretty sure I could have done it without him.

Well that's all for now.  Work is crazy right now but will slow down a little in 2 weeks.  Hopefully after that Scott and I will have time to enjoy Dallas together during his study breaks and I will have the mentally energy to post more frequently.

In Training

New Shoes

As many of you know I began training in September to run the ING Miami Half Marathon on January 30.  When I began training for the 13.1 mile race I had never run more than 3.1 miles in my life...and honestly never thought I would.  On my own I don't know how I would have gotten close to accomplishing this goal.  I would have pushed myself way too hard in the beginning and given up.  Through the training program I learned to take it slow and gradually increase distance over time.  

In December we left Miami and I was not able to accomplish this goal that I had been training so hard for.  I was disappointed but set my sights on the Rock N Roll Half Marathon in Dallas at the end of March.  With all of our traveling and the race delay running took a complete backseat to everything else in life.  Soon running 4 miles felt impossible.  I was discouraged and ready to give up...but Scott would not let me.  He encouraged me to start running several times a week even if it was only for 30 minutes.  He assured me that within a month I would get back to where I had been.  I didn't want to believe him...but he was right.  For the last 4 weeks I have been running consistently 3 times a week...usually no more than 4 miles at a time.  Yesterday I woke up early and went to a trail in our neighborhood.  I completed 12 miles for the first time in 2 months and it felt AMAZING!  I finished 10 minutes faster than I had previously and I did not feel like I was going to die.  I am so encouraged and have a stronger desire to continue pressing forward to accomplish this goal.

What I have learned is that it takes a series of small, manageable goals to accomplish one big one.  The key is consistency.  This is something I want to transfer to other aspects of my life...particularly my relationship with God.  I often fail to spend time reading my Bible or in prayer because I only have 5 minutes to spare it doesn't seem like enough.  But I guess 5 minutes is better than 0 minutes...right?  Scott and I are in the midst of a tough season of life.  Medical School is stressful and we have to deal with the added stress of moving often and not being able to lay down roots.  We have faced some set backs lately that have made me realize once again that I am not in control of my life.  I am powerless to determine my future.  I have been wrestling with one question.  Do I trust God?  The answer does not appear to be a simple yes or no.  I trust that God is good.  I trust that He has a purpose for everything and I trust that He is loving and merciful.  Do I trust that His path is best?  I want to say yes but I'm not sure I can.

A couple of weeks ago the pastor at our church read the following quote from C.S. Lewis:

                  "We are not doubting God will do the best for us, we're wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."

This struck a chord.  I do trust God's plan, I'm just not sure if I will be able to handle the trials and obstacles we will face.  Rather than focusing on today I begin to play the "What If" game with our future.  I am a worrier and this game only causes my anxiety to sky rocket.  I am realizing that following God is like preparing for a big race.  I am in training.  I have to learn to take each day as it comes and choose to trust God with today.  I have to stop worrying about tomorrow and holding onto regrets from yesterday...I just have to trust Him with today and I can't give up when the path seems impassable.

I want to live out the apostle Paul's words in Philippians 3:12-14...

              "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

I am in training.  I cannot possibly achieve perfection in this life.  I will stumble and fall and stray from the path of trusting God but I know I can always start again.  I will keep pressing forward living this life trusting God one day at a time.

Winter Wonderland

Good old Mother Nature transformed North Texas into a Winter Wonderland this week...well sort of.  February arrived on Tuesday bringing with it freezing temperatures, sleet, and 40 mph winds.  I headed out the door early that morning only to be hit in the face with tiny pellets of ice.  I quickly went back inside deciding shorts may not be the best attire even for the short trek to the gym.  I was shocked to see the sidewalks and parking lot already covered in an inch of ice.  I soon discovered that all area schools had shut down and the roadways were impassible.  Like a little kid I hurried back to the apartment to check email.  To my surprise the office was indeed closed for the day.  

I worked from home with the news on in the background.  With freezing temperatures predicted all week it was doubtful the road conditions would improve any time soon.  Before dinner schools were already closed for Wednesday...and before bedtime so was the office.  I have never been so thankful for remote access.  Wednesday brought a new challenge; "rotating blackouts".  Apparently the unexpected cold snap was putting too much strain on the power grid.  I awoke at 6:11am to discover the power was out in the apartment.  I had no knowledge of the planned outages and began to worry a little...not enough to get out of bed though.  I snuggled under the covers and tried to go back to sleep.  Within 20 minutes the power was back on and I fell back to sleep.  An hour later I woke up again to find no power.  So I got out of bed and took Dora for a short walk.  The power came on before we got back.  I dropped everything and took a shower...still unaware of the electric companies handle on the situation.  Afterward I turned on the news and figured out what was happening.  Sure enough every hour until noon the power went out for exactly 15 minutes.  

Thursday the temperature was still below freezing and the roads were still covered in ice.  Schools closed for another day but I returned to the office.  My normal 5 minute commute took about 8 minutes.  With snow in the forecast for Friday I took home some work in case I couldn't make it in the next day.  The forecast predicted 1 or 2 inches of snow.  Well this is what I woke up to on Friday...

I have never seen anything quite like it in Texas.  It was soft, fluffy, white snow!  I was so excited to take Dora out that morning so she could play.  The snow was amazing...so clean, so pure.  It was such a beautiful reminder of God and the way He desires to work in our lives.  He wants to make us clean and pure just like the snow.  

I'm sure you are probably curious how a dog born on a tropical Caribbean island would react to snow.  Well...

She loved it!  She mainly wanted to eat it.  I think she would have stayed out there all day.  We did take several trips out during the day and even had a snowball fight...or rather I threw snowballs at her and she tried to catch them!

This actually was not her first experience with snow.  The weekend after we moved into our apartment we got a couple of inches.  Scott and I took her to the park.  Scott taught us both the finer art of snowball making.

Today the snow is gone and all those held captive by the ice storm were set free.  Good timing considering the Super Bowl is tomorrow and Dallas has been invaded by Steelers and Packers.  I enjoyed the snow but will not be sad if Spring comes early this year.

New year...new address

We are already one-twelfth of the way through 2011...where has the time gone.  Since my last post we have celebrated Christmas in Baton Rouge, New Year's in Houston...oh and we moved to Dallas.  This marks 3 moves for me in less than 18 months of marriage.  I do consider this an accomplishment considering prior to marrying Scott I had moved 4 times in 28 years.

I have never been a fan of moving because moving means change.  The first move took place when I was seven years old.  My parents decided to build a house 1.5 miles away.  There were many perks to this new house including land for horses and a bigger bedroom for me...but I did not want to move.  Moving meant I would have to change elementary schools and leave the friends I had made in first grade.  When we went to visit the new house I would not get out of the car.  I guess I assumed if I didn't see it then it might not exist.  I was a very stubborn child.

I did not move again until I was 21 and transferred to the University of North Texas.  For the first time in my life I had to share a room.  I was excited about this move because it marked a milestone in my life...attending a University and striking out on my own.  It was only after I moved in that I began to question the decision.  I was extremely homesick that first year away and spent most weekends at my parents' house.  The following year I switched dorms (move #3) and began to make friends.  

In 2004 I graduated from UNT and moved to the big city - Dallas (move #4).  I planned this move for months...5 to be exact.  I was apprehensive about living in Dallas by myself.  I spent months researching apartments and shopping for furniture.  I finally chose an apartment near Addison and spent approximately 2 hours a days commuting to downtown for work for 2 years.  I loved that apartment and ended up staying there for 5 years.  I even changed jobs to be closer to home...well sort of.

As a child I had an intense fear of change.  I developed strong emotional attachments to places, objects, people...I cried when my parents' bought a new artificial Christmas tree.  Moving threatened me to the core because I was afraid of losing things I cherished.  Looking back I can see that I never regretted moving after the fact.  In second grade I made friends that I still keep in touch with today.  In college I learned to take care of myself and navigate challenges without parental advice.  Living on my own in Dallas I learned how to pay bills and stick to a budget.  I also found a great church and discovered the faith I had been longing for...and I met Scott.

When Scott and I began discussing marriage I knew I would have to change my views on moving if I  planned to spend the rest of my life with him.  He tends not to stay in one place for very long.  Moving to Dominica was quite possibly the easiest decision I have ever made.  There was no doubt in my mind that Scott was the man God wanted me to marry...and I could not wait to start our life together.  As the wedding date approached I did have some hesitation but felt complete peace about putting all of my belongings in storage and moving to a third world country.  It was the best decision I have made.  Eight months in Dominica changed me in some unexpected ways...I learned to sit in silence and actually listen to nature; I took time to watch the stars and search out rainbows.  And I was able to rest...for the first time in years.

After Dominica we headed to Miami where we planned to stay for a couple of years...well that was our plan.  Now I will explain how we ended up back in Dallas.  In November, Scott took a comprehensive exam  (the COMP) at Ross.  He has to pass this exam before Ross will clear him to sit for Step 1 (1st of 3 Medical Board exams).  He can't start clinical rotations (last 2 years of med school) until he passes Step1.  After a trip to San Francisco he received his results...failed by 2 points.  Disappointing...however the real kicker was that he couldn't take the exam again until March 14, 2011...four months away.  This delayed our plans by at least six months. 

After we got over the shock we realized 2 things.  First, the extra time was a blessing.  He only has one more chance to take the COMP and the extra study time would help him prepare.  Second, that we could not stay in Miami any longer.  We were miserable there; we had few friends that we rarely got to spend time with and we were stressed out all the time.  Also we could not financially afford to live there without the aid of student loans.  Within a month I had a job lined up in Dallas, we found an inexpensive moving company, and we packed up the apartment.  This was by far the easiest move yet.  Everything fell into place so easily.  That is when I realized that it was never God's plan for us to stay in Miami. 

We are back in Dallas and thrilled to be surrounded by friends.  We will most likely be here for a short time...which means another move is right around the corner.  I have lived most of my life averse to change  and fearful of moving.  In this season of life I am learning to embrace change. I realize it may be painful in the middle of it but I know that I will be better for it.  Through moving I have met lifelong friends, experienced new cultures, begun new hobbies, and learned how to pack breakables.  Life is an adventure and rather than living in fear of the next big change I am learning to live for today.